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Bloody Fucking Canadian Vampires

Original Date: 9-21-2005

Bloody fucking Canadian vampires. They just got in an arms shipment from the Canadian government in return for a rather unpleasant favor against the Finnish Yeti. It was with these new high-powered rifles that we were being hunted. Hunted for no reason other than the lust of blood.

 The couple had arrived in town a week earlier, just starting off their honeymoon. It was to be a secluded break in the heavily forested mountains of northern Canada. They stayed in a small village that understood quite well the need for privacy, because everyone knows, tiny Canadian villages hold the best secrets. West of the village was the dark secret that loomed over their heads. It was a castle of the Nobility, a vampire refuge. Not one creature, be it animal or man, ventured half a mile close to that castle. Those that did, never returned.

 Myself, I arrived just before the couple to investigate these rumored vampires. I'm what you would call a hunter of the supernatural. I had only seen them once before I was thrown in with their struggle. There was a misunderstanding involving the loss of a charm that protected the northern side of the village. Of course they were blamed and cast out of the village without a clue as to what was going on.

 It was in the woods that they ventured to close to the home of the Nobility.You could hear the howls of excitement rise into the crisp air as they caught sight of their next victims and gave chase. I quickly threw in my lot with this couple and made my way to the heart of the woods. Running parallel to the monsters I let loose a rapid series of shots from my handgun. It distracted them long enough for the couple to make it across a river. It would provide them a small measure of safety as vampires can't cross running water.

 I made my escape via another route across the same stream.Later that evening I found the couple huddled underneath a giant dead tree. Wrapped in each other, they looked terrified. I walked towards them and introduced myself. Telling them I could help them, I proposed my plan of escape. Slowly they gained a sense of control and agreed whole heartily.

 Just as we were to make our escape the shrill cries of the vampires rose into the night air. They would not be stopped tonight. We took off into the woods towards another village that was well equipped to handle the vampire menace.We ran for all we were worth, the Hell spawn quickly closing the distance. There would be no way that we could make it, not without another distraction. I had spent up all my ammunition the night before. My mind was racing through all my dying options. Then it hit me...

This wasn't how our vacation was supposed to end. We should have been on a plane home, or taking in the sun on some remote beach. Instead we were faced with the imminent death at the hands of vampires, creatures that shouldn't even exist. The man in the black coat said he could help, but it seems he only led us to a quicker death.

Oh baby, I'm so sorry.

 Her tear-stained face tells the tale of how I failed her, how I couldn't protect her. We keep going, running for our lives when the man in black isn't with us anymore. Son of a bitch is probably working for them. I look back and there he is, standing there waiting for them. He turns his head and gives me some half smile with a fiendish look on his face. In the next instant he's covered in the vampires, tearing for his throat.Not much later we made it to the village. They offered us sanctuary and made arrangements for our trip home.

 We wouldn't be here if not for that man in the black coat. I would have named my son after him, if only he had told us his name. Either way, he has our lives and a place among the stories for our grandchildren.

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