Showing posts from January, 2010

What Grinds My Gears

You know what drives me absolutely nuts? When I pay $60 for a game to only find out that the text displayed is too small for me to read. Up until last Friday, I owned a standard definition television. Over the course of 2009 I had purchased several games (several being quite a few). I have been unable to play five of them. The reason behind this is that my TV was not capable of properly displaying them in a high enough resolution to render the text legible. According to a study conducted by Home Media Magazine, only 43% of households own a HDTV . If only half of the TV sets in America are capable of displaying HD, why are there games that can only be played in HD? Why is the text in these select games so small? Why can’t we have an option to enlarge text for those visually impaired? When I finally upgraded to an HD set (Samsung 42” 720p 600hz Plasma), I popped in one of the games I had previously been unable to play, Star Ocean: The Last Hope. The first impression I had was that this

Army of Two: The 40th Day

Army of Two was the second game I had picked up for the 360.  Being new to the system, Kim and I wanted a game that we could play together.  After browsing the catalogue of games and looking at the reviews, we decided to give it a whirl.  We had never played a third person shooter like this before.  Sure, I had beaten all three Devil May Cry games, but we were of the RPG standard.  Long story short, we had a blast.  This was a game that we played for nearly a year, until the sequel came out.  As it turns out, lightning rarely strikes twice. What had sucked us in with the original title were the titular characters, Rios and Salem.  Their comedic banter and camaraderie made us fall in love with them.  Here were two guys, caught in a shit storm of epic proportions, laughing and playing air guitar.  It had been a year, so we were eager to see how time had treated our two favorite mercenaries.  It seems that in the time in between games, Rios and Salem started chugging as much bleach as

The Burger Gourmet: Simple's "Grabber"

I love a good burger.  I also love writing about nonsense.  I have a blog that enables me to write nonsensical things about burgers to my audience of 0. Restauraunt:  Simple Location:  Lake Geneva, WI Burger:  The Grabber Ingredients:  1/4 lb beef, Swiss cheese, Blood? sausage, Egg Verdict: I saw this burger on the menu and initially thought to pass, as it listed sausage and eggs.  Why would a burger come with sausage and eggs on the side?  When the stupid cleared, I realized they were on the burger itself.  I love eggs on my burger, so this seemed like an easy win for the new resturaunt.  How I was so very wrong. When I received the burger, I immediately noticed the bun was toasted.  I hate toasted buns as the crunchy texture does nothing to compliment the burger.  Not only was the bun toasted, but it was covered in grease.  I sponged it off with my napkin and picked up the burger.  Grease literally poured from the entire burger onto my plate.  Not only that, but the yolk in


When I had first heard of Bayonetta, the entire idea seemed well…stupid. What drew most of my anger was the idea of guns strapped to the heels of her shoes. How was she supposed to fire them? Wouldn’t the momentum of a shot fired by foot completely throw her off balance? This would only be the tip of the ice berg. Soon, there was a ridiculous amount of coverage for what I was sure would be a mediocre game. Day after day, week after week it continued. I was sick of it. Not only was there gun shoes, but she was completely out of proportion. Her head was tiny, her legs stretched on forever and she had hands larger than a gorilla. It was all too much. Then came the day a demo was released. I was curious as to how bad this game would be with such ludicrous ideas behind it. I started it up and 15 minutes later I played it again. Then I played it again. What was supposed to be one of the worst games I had ever played turned out to be one of the most enjoyable games I have ever seen. It’s j

Dead Space

Dead Space wasn't a game that originally caught my eye. I wasn't a huge fan of EA at the time, and I wasn't seeing a whole lot of press, so it kind of slid by on my radar. It took a fight with my gf and her way of saying sorry (buying me a new game) to get me to take notice of this title. What a giant mistake on my part. Dead Space, along with Army of Two, was showing me that EA was becoming a company to take notice of. Dead Space doesn't reinvent the survival horror genre, but it does show how it should be done. It walks a fine line between dark and quiet ambiance and shit your pants terror. So you may be walking around in the dark and eerily quiet bowels of the ship, but you never feel totally relaxed. And the action isn't so mindless and ad nausea to turn this into an action game. From start to finish, the pacing is amazing. There is seldom a dull moment and those usually being when you check the map to find your way in the labyrinth like ship. Because when yo

2009 in review

I play a lot of games.  As in holy hell, everyone refers to me as the guy who plays a lot of games.  So that had me thinking, just how many games to I play?  The other day, I found a solution.  I picked up this wonderful idea from Stephen Totilo of Kotaku . Games Played Xbox 360 Armored Core: For Answer  x Army of Two  x Assassin's Creed 2  x Beatles: Rock Band  x Bullet Witch  x Dead Rising Dead Space  x Devil May Cry 4 Fable 2  x Fallout 3 Gears of War 2  x Ghostbusters  x Halo 3  x Halo 3: ODST  x Infinite Undiscovery Kung Fu Panda  x Left 4 Dead  x Lego Indiana Jones Madden 10 Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2  x Mortal Kombat vs DCU  x Resident Evil 5  x Rock Band 2  x Saints Row 2  Soul Calibur 4  x Star Ocean: The Last Hope Table Tennis Tales of Vesperia Tekken 6 The Force Unleashed  x X Blades Wii Castlevania Judgement  x Speed Racer Super Smash Bros Brawl  x Trauma Center: Second Opinion Wii Sports  x PS2 Persona 4 PSP Battlefront:

Dragon Age: Origins

There are a few game companies that I am fiercely loyal to. They are: Square, Capcom, and BioWare. Despite the few times they have wronged me by putting out lower quality games, delaying launches between countries, and a few other minor details, they have produced what I consider to be the highest quality of games I’ve ever played. Yet, only one has never wronged me. Only one company has delivered the highest grade of content consistently. That company is BioWare. So while I was working on yet another Neverwinter Nights module, I caught wind of a new game that was inching closer to release. This game would come to be the pinnacle of their career. After playing through, I honestly don’t know if they can top themselves after this. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past quarter, you know I’m talking about Dragon Age: Origins. Dragon Age is BioWare’s first entry based entirely on new lore. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this translates into a paper thin world. You could