The Burger Gourmet: Simple's "Grabber"

I love a good burger.  I also love writing about nonsense.  I have a blog that enables me to write nonsensical things about burgers to my audience of 0.

Restauraunt:  Simple
Location:  Lake Geneva, WI
Burger:  The Grabber
Ingredients:  1/4 lb beef, Swiss cheese, Blood? sausage, Egg

I saw this burger on the menu and initially thought to pass, as it listed sausage and eggs.  Why would a burger come with sausage and eggs on the side?  When the stupid cleared, I realized they were on the burger itself.  I love eggs on my burger, so this seemed like an easy win for the new resturaunt.  How I was so very wrong.
When I received the burger, I immediately noticed the bun was toasted.  I hate toasted buns as the crunchy texture does nothing to compliment the burger.  Not only was the bun toasted, but it was covered in grease.  I sponged it off with my napkin and picked up the burger.  Grease literally poured from the entire burger onto my plate.  Not only that, but the yolk in the egg wasn't fully cooked and that popped and oozed out the side of my meal as well.  It was a disgusting first impression that left my hands slick with all sorts of foul things.  I sighed heavily and took a bite.  I was like biting into a ball of grease.  Horrible.  I could barely taste anything beyond the grease as I choked it down.  I ended up taking off the sausage as it did absolutely nothing for the flavor.  After finishing it, I felt immediately ill and had a slight urge to vomit.  It did not pass for several minutes as I wished I had never ate it. 

On the side:  Undercooked fried potato slices caked with pepper.  In addition, the resturaunt was so loud that I had a hard time keeping a conversation.

0 out of 5 stars.