Flesh Bot

Babies.  Babies are great.  Tiny human beings created from the collision of sweaty, frothy genitals.  They are the apple of our eyes, our pride and joy, and our sole biological reason for existing.  They are also our wardens on sanity and the new time keepers for sleep.  They constantly demand attention.  While humans as a whole are selfish beings, we’re never more demanding than when we’re infants. 

“Feed me!  Pace the hall for hours until I fall asleep!  Figure out the puzzle of how my liquid shit has breached every seal of this diaper even though you swore it was nice and tight!  Repeat this process several times over with only a few hours of sleep!”

The Gods of Smite: Aphrodite

Of all the gods and goddesses battling in Smite, few seem as out of place as Aphrodite.  Emerging as a fully grown woman from the sea, Aphrodite was instantly desired be all.  To prevent the gods from quarreling over her affections, Zeus decreed that she marry the smith of the gods, Hephaestus.  The humorless, even tempered god known for his hideous appearance would not draw the ire of the others for possessing the rapturous Aphrodite.  However, this didn't prevent Aphrodite from seeking the affection of many gods and mortals alike.  More than any other, Aphrodite was responsible for the Trojan War due to her tampering with Paris’ affection for Helen.

So why is a goddess renown for being a lover entering a war amongst the gods?  Apparently she’s keeping her allies alive through the power of love itself.  Unlike many of the others, Aphrodite’s abilities require pairing with another god for full effect.  She fills the support role like no other and is a great addition to any team.

Her passive ability, Loving Embrace, grants 30% of all mana gained by Aphrodite to her soul mate.  Kiss is Aphrodite’s first ability and arguably her most important one.  By blowing a kiss to a friendly god, the two become soul mates.  Linked by an ethereal band, both Aphrodite and her soul mate move at an increased rate.  Blowing a kiss to an enemy god stuns them and increases damage by Aphrodite’s soul mate for eight seconds.  Kiss should be the first skill purchased as every other ability relies on it.  The dual purpose of stunning and buffing attack power is only more reason to invest in it right away.

Release Calendar: March 2014

March 04:
Awesomenauts Assemble! (PS4)
South Park: The Stick of Truth (PC, PS3, Xbox 360)
The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 2 (PC)

March 05:
Ragnarok Odyssey Ace (PS3)
The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 2 (Xbox 360)

March 06: 
F1 2013 (Mac)
Infested Planet (PC)

March 07:
Atelier Escha & Logy Alchemists of the Dusk Sky (PS3)

March 11:
Dark Souls II (PS3, Xbox 360)
Putty Squad (PS3)
TitanFall (PC, Xbox 360, Xbox One)

March 14:
Yoshi's New Island (3DS)

March 18:
Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster (PS3, Vita)
Madagascar 3: The Video Game/The Croods: Prehistoric Party! Combo Pack (DS, 3DS, Wii)
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes (PS3, Xbox 360)
Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z (PC)

March 21:
Infamous: Second Son (PS4)

March 24:
Darksiders II (PS3)

March 25:
BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma (PS3)
Cut the Rope: Triple Threat (3DS)
Deus Ex: The Fall (PC)
Diablo III: Reaper of Souls (Mac, PC)
Jett Tailfin Racers (Wii U)
The Witch and the Hundred Knight (PS3)

March 26:
Dynasty Warriors 8: Xtreme Legends (Ps3)

March 28:
We Sing UK Hits (Wii)