Babies. Babies are great. Tiny human beings created from the collision of sweaty, frothy genitals. They are the apple of our eyes, our pride and joy, and our sole biological reason for existing. They are also our wardens on sanity and the new time keepers for sleep. They constantly demand attention. While humans as a whole are selfish beings, we’re never more demanding than when we’re infants.
“Feed me! Pace the hall for hours until I fall asleep! Figure out the puzzle of how my liquid shit has breached every seal of this diaper even though you swore it was nice and tight! Repeat this process several times over with only a few hours of sleep!”