Babies. Babies are great. Tiny human beings created from the collision of sweaty, frothy genitals. They are the apple of our eyes, our pride and joy, and our sole biological reason for existing. They are also our wardens on sanity and the new time keepers for sleep. They constantly demand attention. While humans as a whole are selfish beings, we’re never more demanding than when we’re infants.
“Feed me! Pace the hall for hours until I fall asleep! Figure out the puzzle of how my liquid shit has breached every seal of this diaper even though you swore it was nice and tight! Repeat this process several times over with only a few hours of sleep!”
But what if there were a way to circumvent this? What if, through the magic of science, we could create a surrogate to ease the load new parents must face? What I propose is an unholy abomination of flesh and machinery. A machine with all the necessary qualities of a mother to soothe the newborn child. Now, this is not meant to replace a parent, but only alleviate some of the stress that comes with raising the tiny terror that has enslaved the household to its fiendish demands.
When a woman has found that she is expecting, a process will begin. Taking a sample of her DNA, we can begin growing what is essentially a sheet of skin. This skin will be molded over a robotic form consisting of a torso and interlaced arms forming a natural cradle. This skin will serve as much needed contact to soothe the banshee contained within its arms. And since the skin will be actual living tissue, it should be at the adequate body temperature and texture to fool the wailing terror.
The second step will be to begin recording the mother’s natural speaking patterns. This will allow our “flesh bot” to select the proper soothing tones, words, and songs to lull the child to sleep or less aggravated state.
Now, while I had pondered including some type of feeding system using either formula or the milk provided from the mother, I've come to realize that babies are fussy motherfuckers. There is no one way of feeding that will work consistently. As such, there’s no way to program our artificial parent to supply food without posing serious risk to the infant themselves. So, you’re still on your own when it comes time to feed the ravenous black hole.
The other consideration to take into account is how to sustain this mannequin of skin. This is living tissue, it has to be maintained. Otherwise, our already terrible vision of machine and flesh becomes a rotting mess and that’s just bad parenting. I imagine it involving a series of intravenous tubes providing some type of pre-made serum specially designed to sustain human skin alone.
Now since we’re already in a moral mess and you’re thinking I’m a despicable human being, let’s take it a step farther. What if, for whatever reason, the mother passes during or shortly after birthing the child? Would it be appropriate to use this flesh bot as a way of letting the child know their mother in some form? It is her skin and it is her voice. The embrace would be synthetic, but it’s the closest they’ll ever have to knowing the touch of their mother.