App of the Week: Cthulhu Virtual Pet

Cthulhu Virtual Pet
Publisher: NeuroCreativa
Platform: Android
Price: Free!

Do you love Cthulhu?  Do you love Tomagotchi?  Oh boy, do I have a treat for you!  Cthulhu Virtual Pet does exactly what you think it would.  It allows you to raise your own adorable eldritch horror through means all too familiar to children of the 90's.

The idea is to raise a happy and healthy Old One through regular baths (despite living in the ocean), feeding him all manners of organisms, and by plaguing humanity with the priest of R'yleh.  To assist with this are four meters that must be kept up: food, sleep, health, and happiness.  There are a variety of activities to increase each.

Aside from the game itself, there are several mini-games available.  They range from a Flappy Bird knockoff to a bridge builder and several others based on simple tapping.  Unlike the main game, these mini-games are frustratingly difficult.

CVP is a very slow moving game.  You'll only need to check in on the little guy a few times a day to keep him happy and it will take days for him to grow.  Beyond that, some of the controls and icons are a bit mysterious and not so very intuitive.  Additionally, there are several sections that say more features are coming soon.  As of this writing, the game was last updated on 03/30/2016, so we'll see if the additional content does come around.

Finally, like many free mobile games, this one is supported by ads.  However, they can be turned off by purchasing the ad-free version of the game for $1 within the app itself.  I'd say it's definitely worth it as the ads distract from the nostalgic charm of the game.

If you're a fan of Lovecraft or you like digital pets, Cthulhu Virtual Pet is definitely worth a try.

Games with Gold - Lords of the Fallen

Release: 2nd half of March 2016
Platform: Xbox One

Lords of the Fallen is very reminiscent of the From Software titles like Dark Souls and Bloodborne. Its not as polished, but still fun.

App of the Week: Where is Xur?

Where is Xur?
Publisher: Crocus Games
Platform: Android
Price: Free!

If you play Destiny, you are familiar with Xur.  You're also familiar that he only shows up on the weekends for a set amount of time and his inventory is randomized.  Adding to that frustration, his location within the Tower is randomized.  Week after week, numerous guardians search the tower for Xur and hope that he'll have something good for them.

Where is Xur? simplifies this task by pinpointing him on the map, showing his inventory, and the cost.  It's simple, to the point, and reliable.  If you play Destiny, this is a must-have app.

Zero Lives - Episode 048: Steak and Blowjobs

On a very spiteful night, I encounter numerous technical issues. Along the way, I talk about Batman V Superman, Gods of Egypt, and steak and blowjobs.

App of the Week: Adblock Browser

Adblock Browser
Publisher: Eyeo GmbH
Platform: Android
Price: Free!

Ads suck.  Unfortunately, in our glorious capitalist society, most content creators, sites, networks, etc. rely on ads.  Over the years, these ads have been increasing in number, aggressiveness, and overall annoyance.  Worst of all, some ads have malware behind them that will try to install on your device and generally ruin your day.

Games with Gold - Crimes & Punishments: Sherlock Holmes

The first Xbox One Games with Gold title for March 2016 is Crimes & Punishments: Sherlock Holmes.  It's slow, predictable, the controls are bad, the mini games even worse, and is frustrating.  Yet, I want to play it out.

Boba Fett is a Cheater

During a recent match in Star Wars Battlefront, I ran into the famous bounty hunter.  I thought we used the same rifle, but his seems to be a little too powerful.


Always look above you for drop titans.

Destiny Broke My Legs

I hit a loading wall on Earth and found my back now had a better range of motion than an owl's neck.

Destiny Quad Kill

I got extremely lucky (or was it skill?) while doing the Iron Banner competition.